The Best Christmas Movie Ever

Actually, it’s a dead heat. The two best Christmas movies ever made are It’s a Wonderful Life (IAWL) and Die Hard (DH).

It should be clear to everyone why the first holds the title. There’s no better story of the hero’s journey toward redemption or the blessings of selfless giving. George Bailey earns heavenly intervention during a literal dark night of the soul — because of his life of devotion to his family and his community. Every frame is perfect. But no one needs a dissertation to be convinced of that.

Die Hard, however? On par with Frank Capra’s masterpiece? Seriously?

Seriously. First, let’s establish that Die Hard is a great movie that changed action films forever. Unlike Rambo, the Terminator, or any character played by Chuck Norris, Bruce Willis as John McClane has no superpowers (other than the ability to drive people crazy, as his wife wryly notes at one point). He prevails through sheer grit, humor, and ingenuity, all the while motivated by his love for his wife. Score points for meaningful theme.

To boot, the script features excellent characterization; seamless plot building; brilliant dialogue, including memorable one-liners that have become iconic; and try-fail cycles with escalating stakes for protagonist (John McClane), antagonist (Hans Gruber and team), and contagonist (the LAPD and FBI). Bonus: did I mention Alan Rickman, aka the best villain of all time? There’s not a single false move anywhere in the film.

But a Christmas movie? The heck you say. Oh, sure, it’s set at Christmastime, and Christmas music begins and ends the film. Santa hats and tinseled trees are everywhere. Other than that, it appears to be a pretty profane movie. Grisly deaths, sick jokes, and F-bombs abound. Bruce Willis as the chain-smoking, foul-mouthed John McClane seems considerably less than messianic at first glance. When all is said and done, it’s a movie that more than earns its R rating.

And yet. There’s more going on here than meets the eye. To wit:

1) Names: the name of every character is deeply symbolic. More on this throughout the points below.